Thursday, January 3, 2013

Making Quality Time Happen!

Finding quality time with the other adult living in your house is typically the last thing on a parent's mind.  When you are busy raising people, it is easy to forget that time is important.  Eventually, those people you are raising are going to be grown and will move out (over your dead body...yes, I know!).  Are you okay with the other adult in your house being a stranger when that times come?  I sure don't!  In fact, the idea of neglecting my intimate relationship with the man my kids are calling "daddy" scares me to my bones.  Making him important and the alone time we need important allows you to show that person he matters.  Because my other adult has not been here since the births of my children, our relationship is still new.  We celebrate our two year anniversary in April 2013.  However, he is fully and 100% their dad, and my kids stay busy 110% of the time.

For the last 8 months we have had two dates and very little true quality time together.  One of my 2013 resolutions is to change that and like everything else I attempt...I do have a plan! :))  I looked backed to when he and I first got together and examined how we did fit in our time (my children have not gotten more active since we got, that isn't the real reason we haven't made the time).  We have simply gotten lazy and comfortable with each other (so comfortable....that I have not shaved my legs since Thanksgiving...gross I know...but, heh, you don't have to live with me).  I wrote down a list of the things that allowed us to get to know each and eventually fall in love with each other.  From that inner research, I have complied a list of things we can all do to foster that important, forever relationship in our lives.

First things first, set at least one night a month where you and your spouse get out of the house, just the two of you and do something.  This can be dinner, a movie, a trip to the Mall, a few rounds of pool at the bar, or whatever.  Just be sure you don't do the same thing twice in a row....if you do, it will get boring and it will become part of your routine.  When you are out, don't talk about the kids, the house, the bills, or your jobs.  I know some of you are thinking, "then what the hell are we going to talk about?"  Well, talk about future plans, some personal goals you've been working on, make plans for a future vacation, or anything else that is not the shared day to day lives you are already living.  I believe that time together outside of the home is vital to fostering a personal, one-on-one relationship with your spouse.

The other 29-30 days of the month shouldn't be void of quality time.  There are many, many things you can do to squeeze that kind of stuff in.  Some small things you can do include getting up an extra 30 minutes and having breakfast together before the kids get up and the day gets started or staying up an extra 30 minutes late to have night time dessert without having to share with the kids.  You can set aside a movie night for the family and make it a point to sit next to each other while the family watches it.  Hold hands, send "lovy-dovy" text messages to each other through out the day, have entire private and adult conversation over text message while managing the kids in the evening and for the love of everything holy HAVE SEX!!!!  We have found it so easy to put sex on the back burner because we are tired, exhausted, stressed and million other excuses (and more than half the time, they come from him).  Our whole lives we were preached to wait to have sex until we are married and then we get married and we rarely have sex!  Sex is fun, it burns calories, it releases stress and it keeps you close intimately!  If you both lunch at home...have an afternoon quicky, make the time but don't make it a chore....have fun, it's the whole point!

If you have other ways to find quality time for you and your spouse or significant other, comment below and share them with me....I need the ideas just as much as anyone else!

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